Why do girls like older men? Age difference: why men choose younger than themselves

Many single and beautiful girls wonder why men find mature women more attractive. Although people look at unequal relationships very skeptically, this should not be surprising. Mature women know their strengths, besides, they are more experienced and feminine. Perhaps a couple of years ago, a relationship between a young man and a much older woman would have been doomed to failure due to prejudice. Now this question is no longer so relevant. No one is surprised by the fact that a mature woman is dating a young man. Of course, "opened" the door to such a celebrity relationship. Couples where the woman is much older than her partner have become the norm in many European countries. What attracts guys to mature women?

The benefits of such a relationship for guys:

Confidence

Mature women have already studied themselves well, they know their pros and cons, they understand how to properly present themselves in order to please. They exude self-confidence, which attracts the opposite sex. Such ladies have long understood what life is and are not going to adapt to anyone. Guys like that a woman has her own plan that she follows. It is this confidence, steadfastness, unwillingness to break one's habits that attracts the opposite sex. When a woman is confident in herself, the likelihood of scandals is significantly reduced.

a woman's self-confidence is one of the main reasons for such a choice on the part of a man

Responsibility

A mature woman is most often a workaholic who seeks to build a solid foundation for herself. Clearly aware of her needs, she focuses on achieving results. Such an experience can be useful for young people as well. As a rule, a woman tries to guide her "young" chosen one on the right path in life. If a young man is moderately serious and hardworking, such a woman can be a godsend for him.

Independence

Many mature women do not seek to tame their partner, they are quite happy to meet, they do not need marriage bonds. Such ladies do not need a partner just to establish themselves at the expense of him. They will not beg for money or other help, since their life is already pretty well arranged. A mature woman will not play games with her chosen one, she knows what she wants and gets it. No emotional and financial dependence.

life experience and honesty attract the opposite sex

Honesty

Mature women know that the following important things should be in a relationship: honesty and respect. She does not neglect these components of any relationship (whether serious or temporary). But the same returns are expected in return.

An experience

A mature woman has gone through many trials, so she knows how to react correctly in any situation in order to prevent a scandal. She is clearly aware of how she would like her partner to treat her. This factor is very important at the very beginning of a relationship. Both partners know what they can hope for and who plays what role in the relationship. It is known that men can not stand scandals and tantrums. A mature woman is more emotionally stable than a young girl. Guys are more comfortable spending time in her company than regularly listening to complaints and abuse.

sexual experience and emancipation play an important role in relationships

Talk

In any relationship, the ability to speak, advise and support a partner is very important. A mature woman, having gone through a certain life path, knows what and in what situation it is more appropriate to say. Men really appreciate the fact that a woman is not only pretty, but also smart (do not confuse those cases when a man chooses beautiful girl only for sexual relations; This is about sincere relationships and interest).

Sex

Well, let's get to this point. Any relationship is based on the sexual attractiveness of partners. A mature woman knows how to behave in bed in order to please both her partner and herself. When both people enjoy intimacy, their attraction becomes even greater. A mature woman is no longer as closed as she was in her youth, she is not afraid to tell her chosen one what exactly she expects from him.

It is customary for us not to be particularly surprised when girls meet men 10-15 years older than themselves and even marry such men. Although the reverse trend is gaining momentum recently: older women are chosen by men. Psychologists and sociologists are sure that this is not a tribute to fashion at all, but a phenomenon that is firmly entering our lives. Women prefer young men for a number of obvious reasons: they are more open, energetic, enthusiastic, not so tired and they have no marriages, divorces, children behind them ... Just a holiday! What about guys? Why do they not want to meet at least with the same age? What are they attracted to? And what kind of guys prefer the number 30+?

Young men choose older women - and women don't mind!

1. After 30, women strive to get a toy boy - and guys gladly agree to this role. The fact is obvious: regardless of age, being quite "old", a woman has considerable advantages - life experience, education and sophistication, sophistication. And these are three traits that men admire - at least according to Helen Fisher, Ph.D. from the Center for Evolutionary Research at Rutgers University (USA). “Women are now more financially successful than ever, and this shift has changed the needs of the stronger sex - something that many men would like to see in a partner. Now they are often attracted primarily to the independence of women. They also put less pressure on them to prove themselves financially, as they tend to be more understanding if young guys lack ambition or fail to succeed,” he says.

2. An older woman is moderately emotional. Young girls often show emotional instability. Sometimes violent feelings and dramas spoil relationships, and because of this, partners often become strangers to each other. Older women have long defined the basic rules of life and the stormy unrest is long behind them: they clearly know what they want and prefer not to spoil their own and others' nerves. A man seeking peace will quickly appreciate an adequate and reserved woman.

3. Sex is also of great importance: in a woman, the peak of libido comes a little later than in a man. “A woman in her 30s and beyond is perfectly compatible sexually with a man in his early to mid-20s. After a woman leaves her 20s, she becomes more comfortable in her skin, and instead of worrying about how they look during sex, she focuses more on how she feels. And that self-confidence is very attractive to young guys,” explains Linda Banner, a licensed family therapist in San Jose, California. According to the expert, modern guys are more “emotionally excitable” and pay attention not so much to how a woman looks, but more to her independence. “Looks will always play an important role in a relationship, but trust is more attractive to some young men than firm muscles. And if you have both, so much the better! ”Comments the doctor.

4. Older women have a richer experience of building relationships - they know better when and what should be done in order to make both partners comfortable. Such a woman will not build illusions about the new guy, believing that he is a handsome prince. She knows that everyone has their own shortcomings, so she will calmly react to some difficulties in his character or relationships. Such a woman is ready to develop trusting relationship, therefore, he will not waste his time trying to find out who the man added on the social network, and where he was in the period between work and the way home - and, accordingly, he will not make scenes of jealousy.

In addition, unlike young girls, who often take relationships lightly and do not appreciate their partner, an older woman knows how to be grateful for what her friend does for her. Older women are usually not inclined to take men's attention and care for granted. In addition, they will not play with the feelings of a man in order to amuse their pride: perhaps this is what men value most in women older than themselves.

Which men choose older women

As a rule, it is believed that these are psychologically immature guys or generally “alfonso”. Is it true that they are infantile? Or maybe really selfish? And are all of them looking for "mommy"? Again, it is worth remembering stereotypical misconceptions: couples, like situations, are different. And yet, according to most psychologists, too a big difference in years as a couple, be it a man older woman much, or a woman is older than a man - always a risky venture. And the greater the difference in years, the higher the risk that the couple will soon disperse.

However, it is worth enjoying the moment! Women in these relationships also get a lot: because their partners do not build a powerful career, they are often more carefree, relaxed, and give such women a "break". According to a study from the University of Maine, this is the main reason why women prefer younger guys to their male peers. Moreover, younger men tend to admire their older girlfriends and are more likely to praise their accomplishments than older men. And who wouldn't want that?

If a young man chooses an older woman: three rules she must follow

But what if a woman is still uncomfortable because of the difference (sometimes significant) in age? Experts advise to look at it from the "right" angle!

Don't focus on your age.“If he's dating you, he's already above the stigma and stereotypes, so you should treat them with a lot of humor,” says Bethany Marshall, Ph.D. Instead, it is better to flaunt your virtues, such as refinement, by reminding him of what he has to offer. real woman: invite him to a gallery opening, attend an exotic cooking class together, or go enjoy a wine tasting.
Show him that he is desired. This is of great importance for young guys: they are eager to please you in bed. “Women are often embarrassed to speak up when something is wrong, but young men prefer to be guided. Not only that, they want to learn new methods, but the thrill they get from satisfying a partner makes them keep trying.
Let him pay in the restaurant, at least for himself. Most likely, you get more than him, but still you should not change gender roles so drastically. Regardless of age, a man should feel that he is solvent. In every sense of the word.

Article content:

As long as humanity has lived, the problem of unequal marriages has existed for as long. Society is arranged in such a way that it is ready to accept only those created by this society. True, people forgot that the norms were created a long time ago and then really corresponded to the requirements of the time. For example, a wife must be younger in order to give birth to healthy offspring and obey her husband. The woman did not work, supported her life and was financially completely dependent on her husband.

Everything love relationship that go beyond the generally accepted norms are condemned and condemned in every possible way. Thirty years ago, "unequal" partners would carefully hide their relationship. Now is the time to break stereotypes, so there are more and more couples where a man younger women. Let's try to figure out why men choose women older than themselves.

fortune hunter

It's no secret that there is a category of young men who think that their beauty and physically developed body is capital. They sell their assets in exchange for a comfortable existence. After all, developing in a career, learning and growing professionally is much more difficult than being able to look good and give compliments beautifully. And it will take a long time to wait until the efforts invested in development bear fruit. But why, if you can find a woman who will lead a man to prosperity much faster. This is one of the reasons why men choose older women. If the partner is helpful, handsome, and in general - but difficulties suddenly began in his life, and temporarily there is no money - you are dealing with a gigolo.

Man looking for an experienced woman

Another reason why men like older women may be finding an experienced sex partner. A woman who has crossed the line of thirty years can teach her man a lot. As a rule, by this age, ladies are quite sensual, their libido is well developed, so the woman herself can already speak frankly with her partner about her preferences. IN this case, relationships with such a woman allow the partner to get an objective assessment of their abilities and gain invaluable experience. Experience and emancipation - this is the answer to the question why men prefer older women.

Love

People are accustomed to looking for unequal relations trick. However, love can give us the answer to the question of why men marry older women. A man can really fall in love with an elderly woman. Love, as you know, all ages are submissive. A woman of Balzac age can become desirable, beloved and the best for young man. Although the spouses have to prove to the public until the end of their days that they are connected by love, and not by cold calculation, the couple, contrary to the opinion of others, remains. Why do men fall in love with older women? Love does not choose a partner for us, it comes and that's it.

Oedipus complex

It happens that a boy is brought up by an imperious mother who controls his every step, makes decisions for him and takes responsibility for his son's actions. Growing up, such a man does not know how to build relationships with partners equal to him. It is difficult for such a man to take on the burden of responsibility for a young partner and be the main one in a relationship. That's why young men prefer older women. They are subconsciously looking for a woman who would take him under her wing and continue to play the role of a mother. These couples can also be together for a long time.

A man is comfortable with an older woman

A mature woman is independent, she does not care about the opinions of others;
Such a woman trusts, does not quarrel over female friends in in social networks and being late from work for a couple of hours;
The chosen one does not try to drag her partner to the registry office;
Such a woman knows how to appreciate and respect her partner, she is grateful for the time spent together.
A mature lady will not dump the whole heap of her own problems on her chosen one, but will try to solve them herself;
This woman is experienced, it is interesting to talk with her;
In life, there have already been, and, possibly, a divorce, and other crises. Therefore, a woman over thirty knows how to maintain self-control, not to lose face;
A mature woman will not make a scandal out of the blue, because comfort in a relationship is above all.

So it's not surprising why men date an older woman.

As one wise man said, do not look for faults in others. Take care of your own, then you simply won’t have time to get to strangers. Do not look for a catch in other people's relationships. There are many reasons why men choose older women. Whatever the reason forcing them to be together, since they are around, it means they are comfortable. And it's not up to us to decide what is normal and what is not. As life shows, a man and a woman in unequal relationships can be really happy.

Orthodox calendar

Friday, February 22, 2019(February 9 O.S.)
Week about the publican and the Pharisee
Mch. Nicephorus, from Antioch in Syria (c. 257)
Finding the relics of St. Innocent, Ep. Irkutsk (1805)
Finding the relics of St. Tikhon, Patriarch of Moscow and All Russia (1992)
Saints' Day:
Sshmchch. Markella, Ep. Sikelian, Philagria, ep. Kiprsky, and Pankratia, ep. Tauromenian (I). Rev. Pankraty of the Caves, in the Far Caves (XIII). Prpp. Gennady (c. 1516) and Nikifor (1557) Vazhezersky.
Memorial Day of Confessors and New Martyrs of the Russian Church:
Shmch. Vasily Izmailov presbyter (1930); ssmch. John Fryazinov Presbyter (1938).
The week about the publican and the Pharisee is continuous.
Readings of the day
Gospel and Apostle:
In lit.: -Ap.: 1 John 2:7-17 Ev.: Mark 14:3-9
Psalter:
Morning: - Ps.134-142; Ps.9-16 For eternity: - Ps.119-133

An older man is self-confident, as a rule, he managed to acquire real estate, a car and a position in society and connections, he knows how to present himself beautifully. Psychologists believe that the lack of fatherly care in childhood or their own lack of independence pushes a woman to a relationship with a more mature man who will help solve problems, take all the worries on himself, be able to protect and, if necessary, regret like a little one. Also, with age comes experience. Including the representatives of the stronger sex become calmer, more balanced, more reasonable, they know how to beautifully look after, they know how to interest their chosen one and how to show their feelings. Under the auspices of such a man, the girl feels calm and good.

As a rule, with age, the craving for hanging out with friends and noisy parties disappears, but visiting a museum or an expensive restaurant in the company of a pretty young companion can be great entertainment.

Such men are excellent interlocutors and experienced lovers. A broad outlook and a rich inner world attract young inexperienced people. We can discuss for a long time literary works and cinema classics, visit exhibitions and other cultural events. There may not be sexual marathons in bed until the morning, but the quality of sex is likely to be on top.

What girl doesn't love expensive gifts? A man who has achieved certain heights in his career will gladly pamper his lady. In addition, he may be able to give a secure future for his children.

What should be feared when starting a relationship with an older man?

Most likely, one will not have to hope for equality in such relations, since he is older, and therefore more experienced, and therefore he will make decisions on his own. Do not forget that patronage can turn into addiction. Possible jealousy of younger men. It is possible that the man was already married, and he has children from the previous ones, which means that as a father he has already taken place and may not want to have children anymore. If the age difference is too significant, there may be frequent misunderstandings and problems in sexual life. It is unlikely that he will get involved modern literature and go to clubs. It will be difficult to find mutual language with friends and parents.

In any case, every relationship has its pros and cons.

Today, many men prefer to build relationships with women who are much older than them. Why has this trend taken off? According to modern research, every twelfth woman meets a man who is younger than her and does not feel discomfort. This craving is due to both physiological and psychological reasons.

Positive aspects of mature women

Marriages in which the partner is 10, 15 or even 20 years older than the man are no longer a rarity. Star couples often consist of partners with big difference aged. Why do men like older women? There are many advantages that are characteristic of ladies of mature age.

Men are attracted to:

Self-confidence. An unequal marriage is no longer a rarity, as experienced women know their strengths and weaknesses, skillfully disguise flaws and emphasize their merits. They know how to please a partner. In addition, a woman older than a man skillfully regulates conflicts, so the likelihood of quarrels is minimized. This main reason why men love mature ladies.
Responsibility and purposefulness. Young people often need a mentor. In adulthood, a woman strives to achieve her goals and teaches her partner the same. This is important for him, so such a spouse becomes a godsend, he really likes her.
Independence. A woman who is more than 10-15 years older than her partner will not demand love, money or constant attention. She is independent, meeting with a certain frequency suits her, since her life is already arranged.
Honesty. The partner does not live in a world of illusions, she does not need drama in a relationship. She knows that partners should respect each other, that this is the key to a successful marriage.
Experience. A mature lady already knows what she wants from a relationship and does not hide it. Stability and strength is the motto of an unequal marriage. It will not be dominated by rash emotions.
Ability to keep up a conversation. An unequal marriage attracts men because a woman can support any conversation. She is smart and experienced, she knows what to say in what situation, and when it is better to remain silent.
Variety in sex. A mature partner is smart enough to please both herself and her partner in bed. If she is 10-20 years older, you can learn a lot from her.

It is worth noting that all these points are purely psychological, which is why the age of the partner is sometimes not important. It happens that a young girl is psychologically mature enough to match them. Young people like not external, but internal signs maturity.

We are looking for a reason in childhood

It happens that young people subconsciously choose an unequal marriage, not understanding the true psychology of their desires.

Often young people prefer mature ladies for the following reasons:

Lack of maternal love in childhood. They may not have been told "I love you" or "Mom loves you". Many men instinctively look for a woman older than themselves, because they did not receive maternal care and attention.
A young man is not confident enough in his abilities, and a woman older than a man gives him a sense of security.
A woman becomes a partner as a senior comrade or guardian, who will provide him both financially and morally.

As we can see, the main reason why unequal marriages, is convenience. And convenience for both men and women.

Some statistics

As numerous polls show, men who are married often start an affair with a mature woman. This explains many of the factors we talked about above. Men are attracted that a woman does not insist on marriage, because her life is already arranged. So, 57% of the stronger sex had an affair with an older woman.

Most men prefer romantic relationship with a lady who is 10 years older. They explain this by saying that given age is the sexiest for a woman. As psychologists are sure, the flowering of female sexuality falls on her 40 years of life, while male sexuality is at 20. If you believe these figures, then unequal marriages are a completely understandable phenomenon, and 20 years of difference is not a huge figure, but the most suitable one.

An outside perspective on unequal marriages

When a man falls in love with an older lady, he begins to weigh all the pros and cons of such a relationship. To understand the problem from the inside, let's look at the situation from different angles.

The public is categorically against this kind of relationship. If a partner who is much older than a partner can still be taken for granted, then a woman who is 10-15 years older than a man is not perceived by society in any way. Because of this, couples with a large age difference have some problems. Often this is the reason that becomes decisive when a relationship is broken.

Women who choose to be partners young man, as a rule, have little interest in the opinion of the public. They are self-confident and believe that the partner must also be morally mature in order not to depend on outside opinions. And if such a person is really found, then such a union can last a very long time.

Unfortunately, psychology believes that too much age difference leads to an inevitable gap. Different moral principles and outlooks on life can provoke conflicts that simply cannot be resolved. Then the break will be the only way out.

Pros and cons of unequal marriages

Unequal marriages are always a risk, but with a good choice of partner, you can get a lot of privileges.

Benefits of the age difference:

A man will never cheat on a mature partner. This is due to many factors. A woman is self-confident, she does not follow every step of her partner, skillfully regulates conflicts, supports various conversations and knows how to satisfy a man in bed. He just does not want to seek consolation from the outside, because in marriage he is really comfortable. His psychology is satisfied, why should he look for additional entertainment.
A man is brought up under the guidance of a partner. In order not to get lost in his life, he becomes a student of his wife, who willingly transfers her experience to him.
A man in such a marriage feels special. After all, his wife is older, smarter, more reliable than the partners of most of his friends. His self-esteem rises, and after it, his attitude towards his wife improves.

There are practically no conflicts in such marriages, so they can be safely called promising. But in this matter, one cannot do without a fly in the ointment.

Cons of unequal marriages:

If the partner wants to feel like a master in the family, the head of the house, then the woman must act wisely and give way to the leader in some way. If she is not capable of this, the marriage is in jeopardy.
When an adult wise woman it becomes not interesting with a young man, she can simply cool down to this relationship.
If the partner idealizes the partner too much, and male psychology prone to this, there is a risk of great disappointment as the relationship develops.

Thus, unequal marriages and age differences are a promising phenomenon, but only if both partners are wise. If they find in each other what they themselves lack, then both will be happy in a relationship.