Have you ever thought about the points of irreversibility in the line of destinies of your ancestors?
What would have happened if, during the Great Patriotic War, a bomb hit not nearby, but in the very same house with a girl clinging to the floor, who would later become your grandmother? Or if the incident when his father was hit by a car as a child ended fatally?
Listening to the stories of my beloved old people, I thought a lot: how many times could the thread break before reaching me? And at such moments, life seemed to me a miracle, comparable to the fragile existence of humanity itself.
This time I present to your attention a mystical episode from the life journey of my great-grandmother.
Great-grandmother Tanya was born in a small Chuvash village even before the October Revolution, in 1906. By the end of the 20s - early 30s, the time had come for her to get married. The son of one of the once wealthy peasants had his eye on the young, strong girl. His father, apparently, had other plans for the fate of the child, into which the poor bride with the significant surname Barinova did not fit into it. Besides, my great-grandfather was already married. But what can you do? You can’t order your heart, and people then, unlike us, were more independent and selfless: the father sent his son to the girl he loved. The young people began to settle down and improve their everyday life. Only the first wife could not forgive such a fickle love and, when everyone was out in the haymaking, she set fire to the home of her family, which never became her own... Everything burned down: both the living creatures and the furniture. Fortunately, they didn’t have time to have children by that time.
The young people built themselves a new house. Life was not easy, besides, even in the first year Tatyana gave birth to her first child, and they didn’t wait long for her second. The young woman is tired of incessant worries. One day a girl with children was walking to her husband’s work and a seditious thought appeared to her: leave the children on the walking path and hang herself not far away. I was about to get ready when the little ones began to cry in a voice that was not their own. I stopped and felt sorry.
But such a movement of the heart did not remain without consequences: trouble came, the first child died for no reason. In those days, infant mortality was not uncommon, only the second child hurried after the eldest. The third, born, was cherished like the apple of his eye. And so, he was already three years old when the family went to visit, taking their son. The child played enthusiastically next to his mother, the adults had table conversations. Suddenly the child disappeared. The furnishings of a traditional village hut were not very rich; they rushed to look in all corners. Found. Under the bed, dead.
The mother was heartbroken. It's time for the funeral. Then we noticed among our relatives and acquaintances a benefactor, an old man visiting. He asked Tatyana what was wrong with her, and suggested what to do. After 40 days, he ordered an aspen stake to be made and stuck in the grave of the last son - then not a single child would die before the mother. What's said is done. And indeed, it was as said. All the children survived difficult times safely, even my grandmother, who was born on the first day of the most significant war in our history.
The grandmother, telling the story, concludes the moral: it happens that for some reason a child is born unwanted, and after him a long-awaited one. And fate (or some other higher power), in order to restore justice, often takes away the pet. (Fortunately, contraception from minimal to radical is now in our hands, but stories vary.)
I would like to know who this mystical old man is who, almost a century later, allowed me to appear to write these lines now. And how many people like him, who, without knowing it themselves, carefully helped convey the fragility of our lives to this day.
Rida KhasanovaIt is believed that observing certain wedding omens gives warmth and happiness in family relationships. Age-old traditions are not subject to doubt or discussion, since they are passed on from parents to children. Often, it is the closest relatives who are responsible for the customs, without which the wedding event is incomplete. Undoubtedly, many newlyweds have to look for a compromise.
Photos of the wedding ceremony
Modern traditions at a wedding
Traditional wedding ceremony in Russia starts with a meeting. Usually it goes away with. As a rule, the mother of the groom prepares a pound of salt for the wedding for the newlyweds. Since Soviet times, champagne has been added to bread, although in some regions they pour vodka the old fashioned way.
These traditions are very subjective depending on the values of the bride and groom's family
Wedding rings were placed on a scarf, which was raised above the top of the bride and groom's heads. Such a wedding ceremony in Russian traditions meant making a love covenant in heaven, since the person’s head was associated with the heavenly world.
The newlyweds at the time of their marriage were surrounded by special awe. According to the ideas of our ancestors, the creation of a family was the creation of a new world, where not two people are united, but the sun (groom) and the earth (bride).
Slavic wedding customs
Another Slavic wedding ritual in Rus' - ritual around the stove. When a young man brought his wife to his house, the first thing she did was bow and pray to the hearth, since it was considered the heart of the home.
Fellow villagers danced around the hut newlyweds throughout their wedding night. This is how people gave blessings to the new family. Ancient superstitions and signs of good luck were clearly expressed in rich clothes. Red or gold belts At a wedding they were a talisman. Later, after the holiday, if the husband was away, the wife would girdle herself with his wedding belt so as not to get sick.
Like the belt, the ring was shaped like a circle and signified the absence of beginning and end. Both were considered a symbol of fidelity, a symbol of evil, instincts or chaos
Any Slavic amulets, including wedding ones, symbolized protection from evil.
Nowadays, some rather ancient customs are still used by newlyweds. Eg, . This tradition was passed down from generation to generation. The towel was necessarily inherited as a dowry or was sewn by the bride herself and was used in ancient rituals of the ancient Slavs, as it supposedly had healing powers.
In some provinces from the hut the groom rolled out a fabric runner to the bride's hut. When they approached her in a cart, she only walked on it. This happened because their houses had images of two universes, and everything else - the uncreated world.
Wedding in Old Slavonic style
Sometimes fires were built near the threshold. The groom and his groomsmen jumped over the fire before going to the bride, cleansing himself of everything so that the wedding takes place in innocence. Some customs and traditions of Russian weddings are still used in modern themed celebrations.
A wedding without traditions - interesting and unusual wedding ideas
The most popular ceremony is: the bride and groom pour black and white sand from vessels into one container, thereby promising each other that from now on they will be one and can never be separated. The pattern that is obtained by mixing sand of different colors always turns out individual, just like people’s destinies.
Sand ceremony at a wedding
The next touching ceremony begins with the newlyweds writing before the wedding two letters to each other. In them, young people guess the first 10 years of married life. The following provisions can be specified:
- what joint goals do they adhere to;
- what feelings they experience the night before the wedding;
- how they wait for this day;
- who will drink the most at the holiday;
- who will dance the most fiery dance;
- who will say the longest toast;
- who will give the largest bouquet;
- what they swear to each other.
Besides, messages can be supplemented:
- include additional letters to future children;
- add pictures;
- express feelings in poetry.
The longer the letter, the more interesting it will be to read on your 10th wedding anniversary. Next, you need to purchase your favorite drink that will not spoil within such a period of time. It is placed in the box along with the letters. The joint of the lid is sealed with wax candles and, accordingly, with a seal.
Wine ceremony
If it happens that the newlyweds in a few years will not be able to cope with any life situation, this box can be opened ahead of schedule. By taking out your favorite drink and remembering your feelings, you can improve your relationship. This idea is called the box hammering ceremony and is even recommended by psychologists.
Hay or wood shavings, as well as ribbons, will make the box more elegant. You can close it with a lock or nails
It is better to have a beautiful wine ceremony at a wedding during registration. This will make the marriage more complete. A time capsule can become a family heirloom, reminiscent of this day, and a good piece of furniture.
How to make wedding rituals more relevant
When compiling a guest list, newlyweds often know which of them will come with a couple and which will come alone. Passing the wedding baton is a favorite story. To successfully conduct the competition, you can count single girlfriends and friends, and then play their numbers at auction.
In addition to the bride's attribute, such as a garter, guests are also given a piece of a tie, which acts as an anti-garter. The one who catches her, according to tradition, will not have time to get married within a year. This ritual will be especially in demand among single men with a good sense of humor.
From first dance of the young You shouldn’t refuse even if you don’t have the skills, because you can get help from a professional. A choreographer or director will add professional ones to amateur movements. A special atmosphere for the room is given by the team or bright props.
First wedding dance of the newlyweds
Another option is to perform the song as a duet. The first live wedding video is not prohibited from being performed with a soundtrack. Guests are unlikely to expect this, so it is joyful to be surprised in any case.
What are the wedding customs for the parents of the bride and groom?
As already mentioned, parents can stage a slingshot at a wedding, but there are a number of other unifying ceremonies. The first thing the bride's parents should do is give blessing for marriage. To do this, the father leads the bride to the groom standing at the altar, and dances with her at the banquet.
Parents at the wedding
Classic wedding traditions for the groom's parents include him dancing with his mother and godmother. It's a good idea to style these dances in one or more of the following ways:
- slideshow of children's photographs;
- sparklers;
- candles;
- confetti.
The ceremony of marrying families is usually called family ceremony, although all guests can participate
For this purpose, candles are distributed to all married people so that everyone can convey a piece of their family hearth and warmth to the newlyweds. Newlyweds blow out the lights and make wishes in honor of the family's first birthday.
The parents are the last to present the candles, as if they were giving. For a long time, only the mother of the bride participated in the ceremony. She passed a coal from her stove to her daughter so that she could cook dinner for the first time in her new home. In modern times, the groom’s mother also joins in on this.
Lighting up the family hearth
Parents' participation at their son's wedding mainly occurs in the banquet part of the event. In addition to the usual toasts with life stories they can sing, thereby fitting into the framework of a European wedding.
In this way, parents and guests express sadness over the passing of a bachelor. According to Russian traditions, invitees must meet the bride at the bride or groom's house, not at the restaurant. , each family decides differently. You can listen to them, or you can simply from the bottom of your heart wish the young people a good journey in their new family life.
Parents escort the bride and groom
When wondering who should pay for a wedding according to tradition, it is necessary to turn to the Slavic rule about dowry. Since the parents agreed on the wedding themselves, they paid for the celebration. Depending on the value of the bride's property, the groom's parents were charged a fee. Today, in this matter, everything is individual.
Traditions on the second and third days of the wedding
The second day of the wedding is usually spent outdoors, in a cafe or sauna in the afternoon. The duration of rest is usually 6 hours, but this is not the limit. The scenario for this day is thought out in advance. Small stylization and thematic actions decorate the continuation of the celebration best of all.
Traditionally, the husband and wife prepare pancakes at the wedding on the second day in order to sell them. It is believed that whoever eats the most will be lucky all year. You can replace them with a multi-level ready-made cake.
A wedding cake
If the newlyweds are driving around the city on this day, the tradition of blocking the road at the wedding obliges them to give tasty gifts. If you give treats to those who were able, then the couple will be able to buy off bad luck in this way. On the third day the newlyweds opening gifts, look at photographs and send postcards to guests. Some go to the local bridge and hang it as a symbol of eternal love.
Wedding traditions of the world
Any marriage implies a marriage contract, which may discuss the rights and responsibilities of the newlyweds
Eastern weddings begin with the conclusion of a certificate by the parents in the mosque to give sacredness to the ceremony. In Arab countries, without this paper, young people are not even placed in the same room together.
After the business part, two people who start a family have long been required to give their consent out loud three times. In addition, if the newlyweds are found to have insincere intentions regarding the wedding, their marriage is considered invalid.
Therefore, the strongest bonds tend to be created in the east. But in the Russian Federation, the negotiated marriage contract has no legal force until it is registered in the registry office. Otherwise, a Muslim wedding in Russia is no different from a traditional Islamic one.
There are a lot of wedding traditions. There are even more variations. They make the wedding more solemn. But at the same time, more traditions make it more difficult to perceive, because in fact this leaves less time for communication, games and dancing.
Another interesting tradition is the joining of young families. A video of the wedding ceremony can be viewed here:
30 August 2018, 19:37
Why was it believed that if you drive an aspen stake into the grave of a witch, she will no longer be able to harm? and got the best answer
Reply from Lady Leo? Bright-eyed?[guru]
An aspen stake is considered the most powerful and effective weapon for putting to rest the “restless” undead: vampires, ghouls, ghouls and other “cute creatures” of nature, epic and... imagination!
...And also – witches and sorcerers after death...
“The sorcerer and the witch in the coffin are pierced with a stake through the chest so that they do not walk around like a ghoul; a common belief of all Slavic tribes,” pointed out the historian, scientist and chronicler Vladimir Dal.
Why is that? - but because they were considered damned during their lifetime (hostage) souls, and they could only be overcome with a “cursed” tree - according to the principle of similarity. Similia similibus curentur. “Like is treated with like”...or, speaking in Russian: wedge - wedge...
In the old days, there was a real custom behind these words: a stake made of aspen was driven into the grave of a “sorcerer” or “witch” so that the “unclean enemy force” could not harm honest people in the area. Evil seemed to be “nailed” to the ground... the negativity went away!
Aspen exudes pronounced negative energy, beautiful clean white “satin”, “silky” wood and mystical properties of “taking in and removing negativity”.
The belief that an aspen stake can “neutralize evil spirits” comes from an ancient belief that Judas Iscariot hanged himself on an aspen tree, and she, trying to shake off the memory of the traitor, continuously shakes her leaves, throwing off all the negativity “collected” and dispelling it. into the dark worlds, or simply put, into the soil, into the ground...
Although - regarding Judas - there are different versions here too... Not only aspen is indicated, but also elderberry, birch (and it allegedly turned white from fear), and alder - (supposedly this is why its wood has a reddish color).
So, according to legend, after the hanging of Judas, the aspen tree began to tremble with horror at the slightest breeze... So this tree became a symbol of the inevitability of punishment for betrayal.
Versions of the curse of aspen related to the history of Christ are also popular (although aspen is not mentioned in the New Testament): aspen is the only tree that “did not recognize Jesus” during his flight to Egypt;
during Jesus’ way of the cross, “the aspen did not bow down before him and did not tremble with pity and compassion” (close version: all the trees except the aspen dropped their leaves); the rods with which Christ was scourged were aspen).
But... where would aspen come from in the Middle East?
Aspen is a tree that is found in the north of Eurasia in coniferous and deciduous forests, along the slopes of ravines. It reaches over 30 m and a diameter of up to 1 meter and lives up to 80-100 years.
Aspen belongs to the poplar genus of the willow family. It is considered a truly Russian tree, producing - as already said - satiny white, pure wood.
This is an ever-quivering beauty with trembling leaves, singing a tender forest song, and has many healing properties for humans and animals. And although aspen has had a bad reputation for centuries, it has been widely used in folk medicine.
In the magic of all European peoples, aspen is associated with the “lower world” as well as with sorcerers, witches, etc. In Russian fairy tales and ritual practice, the motif of an aspen stake driven into the back or heart of a dead person with a restless soul (especially an unclean and sinful one) is known.
Aspen is still called the tree of the hanged. To this day, aspen is associated with evil spirits, chthonic characters (primarily female) and is a “symbol of sensuality.”
In the runic tradition, aspen is associated with the symbol Ehwaz; it is credited with wisdom, connection with the subtle world, the ability to withstand any conditions, ward off death, illness, “damage,” and heal and heal.
Russian wedding ceremony.
One of the most important events in the life of a Russian woman was a wedding, for which she and her entire family began to prepare long before the event itself...
About the wedding rites of our ancient ancestors, and we mean really ancient ones - those who lived according to the laws of the Vedic worldview for several thousand years, practically nothing is known. What is presented to us now as the most ancient antiquity, in fact, is not so. The most famous source on the issue of wedding customs of the ancient Slavs is the chronicle of the Christian priest Nestor, “The Tale of Bygone Years” of the 12th century. He writes that the customs of the ancient Slavs varied from tribe to tribe, and in some tribes the so-called “kidnapping” was practiced - the groom kidnapped the bride at the games, having previously agreed with her about the abduction - and polygamy: “I went to the games... and snatched my wife for myself, and whoever had an agreement with her: I named him two and three wives...”
The yard of a private house (rest home) with a strong gate and fence. Equipment for competitions, clothing for “mummers” and guests.
Event plan:
Wedding caravan
Or at the gate
Transfer of "Kalina"
"Return of the Daughter"
Hammering the stake
Mother-in-law's skating
Lottery
Scenario:
1.Wedding caravan
According to village traditions, the couple spends their wedding night at the groom's house, and the next morning they go to the house of the former bride. If for some reason this is not possible (for example, the groom’s house is too far away), the wedding caravan gathers not far from the house where the second day will be celebrated.
Participants of the wedding caravan:
Gypsies.
These are all young guests who will take part. The girls are dressed up as gypsies: colorful skirts, lots of jewelry, and heels are a must. Boys: wide trousers, shirts (of which you don’t mind), strong and comfortable shoes are a must.
Newlyweds also dress up as gypsies.
Gypsy bear
The strongest and tallest young man is chosen for this role. He is put on either a bear costume or a sheepskin coat with the fur facing out (sheepskin coat)
Doctor - "hangover"
A man in medical clothes (gown and cap required) with a huge tub filled with alcohol. You can have beer or even brine, although traditionally there should be moonshine - “pervach” (the strongest). There is a tube attached to the tub, from which they are poured “for a hangover” for everyone. For non-drinkers, the doctor should have several baby bottles with nipples filled with milk.
Nurse
The most curvaceous (in any sense) girl in an ultra-short robe and a medical cap. She carries a tray of snacks. The nurse works in tandem with the doctor - the “hangover cure.”
Costumed newlyweds
Usually, these are witnesses to the newlyweds. Moreover, the man is dressed up in the bride’s outfit (or its likeness, if you feel sorry for the wedding dress) and, of course, a veil, and the groom must wear a groom’s suit (it doesn’t have to be a wedding suit, but any one in which the former groom was often seen) will do.
Musician.
This could be an accordion player, a guitarist, and even a timpani percussionist (copper percussion instruments in the form of “pot lids.” They are played with lids from large pots). In general, this is a person who makes music (or rhythmic noise).
Security guard "Kalina"
This is a man who carries a large branch decorated with many ribbons - “Kalina”. He usually leads the procession.
This whole procession, with noise and songs, goes to the place of the second wedding day. The noise is made for the purpose of ensuring that the maximum number of people come out of their houses to see what is happening! Even a person peeking out from behind the gate is recognized as a “passer-by” and is immediately “processed” by the gypsies.
All passers-by who meet on the way must “give back”: the gypsies pester them with a large bag shouting “Fill up the family treasury.” “Typical gypsy tricks” are used: “Oh, well done, gild your pen! Look how beautiful the newlyweds are!” - and point to the mummers “newlyweds”.
They take change from people they meet, some kind of gift (it can be any item: a clean scarf, a pack of cigarettes, a watch. In the village, passers-by are often presented with fruits, vegetables and even domestic animals (both kittens, puppies and chickens).
In exchange, they are sent to the doctor and nurse for a treat. Afterwards he is given a ribbon from the Kalina and invited to go with him (at the request of the passerby).
Those who do not have money with them are “set” on the bear. “The Bear” hugs the greedy man and carries him to the other side of the road: they say, don’t disturb the procession.
2. Or at the gate
This entire procession approaches the bride's house (or the place where the second day will be held).
The bride's parents stand at the open gate. They are surrounded by all the “adult” guests. Typically, the division into “guards” and “gypsies” is divided by age (under 30 years old - gypsies) or by status (married - security). If there are fathers and children among the guests, then the parents must be in the “security”, and the children must be in the “gypsies”.
The parents of the former bride are waiting for the return of their daughter and immediately begin to lament: “Bring back our girl, we changed our minds!!!” They lament loudly, sometimes in a not very censorious manner, demanding the return of their “little blood.”
The “gypsies” exhort the “security”: they say, we have already bought your girl, we have celebrated the wedding - what do you want?!
But the parents are not appeased.
The main thing in this action is to create as much noise as possible! This should prove to all heavenly powers that parents will always be happy with their daughter, and friends will never allow the new family to break up.
Surprisingly, even very well-mannered and intelligent people quickly get drawn into this “bazaar” and begin to make arguments (depending on which side they are on).
3. Transfer of “Kalina”.
After shouting to their heart's content, the “gypsies” agree to return their “daughter.” But, instead of the girl herself, they give away the very “Kalina” who led the procession! They give it back with the words: “There is no girl, there is a young wife. This is what remains!”
Parents, of course, refuse to accept such a “gift”, because this means a final farewell to their daughter’s girlhood (even if the daughter is pregnant at this time or has already given birth to a child - it doesn’t matter!), and therefore the daughter’s transfer to another family.
Now the Kalina broadcast begins. The branch must be moved outside the gate somehow. They throw her (although the “security” can throw her back), the gypsy men climb onto the gate and cross the “Kalina”, the gypsy girls try to push back the “security” at the gate... Very often, some “gypsy” would simply climb over the fence and climb onto the house. They threw Kalina to him and he sent the branch through the window of the house or even the chimney.
“Kalina” can, of course, be “gilded”, that is, decorate the branch with banknotes and offer a ransom to the bride’s parents.
You can finally persuade the parents... You can deceive them - throw them straight into their hands, because if “Kalina” falls into the hands of the parents (but only them!) for even a second, it is considered accepted.
In general, the competition ends only when “Kalina” is somehow presented to the bride’s parents.
4. Return of daughter
So, “Kalina” was transferred. And the “massed” bride, screaming (preferably in a bass voice): “Mommy” throws herself on her mother-in-law’s neck. The mother-in-law, of course, demands a real daughter.
All the gypsies line up with their backs to the bride's parents, and the mother-in-law and father-in-law must find their daughter and son-in-law. The distance between parents and gypsies is approximately 5-10 meters.
The gypsies dance, sometimes change places, but are silent.
The parents guess, for every mistake the mother-in-law is treated to a “hangover cure” by the doctor, and the father-in-law is hugged by a bear.
5. Hammering the stake.
Now parents must prove that they will not interfere with the happiness of the young. Fathers (father-in-law and father-in-law) dig a hole in front of the gate (a little to the side, not on the road). The newlyweds pour water into the hole. Now mothers must drive a stake into the center of the hole to strengthen family happiness. They are given two hammers (larger ones). Moms take turns hitting the stake with hammers.
Of course, splashes of dirt fly, and the guests say: “Don’t meddle in someone else’s family, mother, you’ll throw mud on them!”
It turns out to be very instructive and convincing.
6. Mother-in-law's ride.
Now it's time for the mother-in-law to ride. To prevent the wife’s mother from riding on her son-in-law’s neck, the son-in-law must “roll her out” in advance.
The mother-in-law is seated on... a cart (wheelbarrow) and begins to be rolled around the yard. Guests (men) shower her with rice or other grains.
After mom has finished and said, “I don’t want it anymore,” it’s the mother-in-law’s turn. Her daughter-in-law and other girls shower her with grain (rice, buckwheat or other cereals). Be careful not to get it in your face, but very generously! Again, until mom says: “That’s it, I don’t need any more!”
7.Lottery.
After the “parents’ teaching” is over, all guests enter the house. The tables are already set there. Various competitions are held, for example, fortune telling for children. “Conciliation” tests are being carried out.
There is often a lottery. All items are played in it, except for money, which the gypsies managed to “beg” from passers-by, as well as some previously prepared items.
A special flavor of the village “Lottery” is the fact that “city” guests are often given “village” prizes. For example, a rake or shovel. Or a live chicken (even a live goose!). Taking advantage of the fact that a gift cannot be refused, the city residents are given the most unusual items and are happy to see what the guest will do with such a gift?
Then the holiday follows the scenario of a friendly feast, with toasts and competitions.